Why Did You Want to Be a Parent?

Mother and ChildStatistically, for generations it’s been true that most people have gone on to be parents.  The paradigm is breaking down slightly, with  people increasingly choosing to either delay or forgo having kids, but raising children remains an important part of many people’s life plans.  Women have a variety of reasons for wanting to become mothers:  for some, it’s an important part of their religion, while others believing that having kids and raising them well is the best possible contribution that they can make to this world.  Others have always dreamed of having a family, and have never wanted to be anything except for a mother.  Some will never have conceived of children as being a part of their life plan, and will later be persuaded by friends and family.  And there are others who will have children simply because it is what people do.

One thing that is worth asking however, is why you want to have children, and what you hope that your future children will gain from having been raised by you.  Although I am aware that having children is considered by many people to be the pinnacle of their life’s work, whenever you are considering having a child, the question should not simply be what you want, but what would be best for the hypothetical child.  Too often I see parents who seem to feel that their children exist solely for their own self-gratification, and who give little thought to the needs and wants of the child in question.  Parenting should always be for and about the child, not the desires of the parents.  It is at the same time both the most selfish and the most sacrificial act that most of us will ever undertake, and a choice that should always be made with care.